The Art of Communication: Lessons from My Second Chance

Communication isn’t just about the words we say; it’s about how we show up. I’ve learned this firsthand in my journey with Leslie. Our relationship—marked by love, heartbreak, and reconciliation—has taught me how easily body language, posture, and words can be misunderstood.

Misreading the Signs

When Leslie and I reconnected after 10 years apart, we realized how much miscommunication had impacted our past. Back then, my crossed arms might have seemed defensive, but I was really protecting myself from vulnerability. Her silence often felt like disinterest, but it was her way of processing. These misunderstandings drove wedges between us.

Now, we’re intentional. We’ve learned to ask questions like, “What did you mean when you said that?” or “How are you feeling right now?” instead of assuming. This simple shift has transformed our connection.

Words Matter—But So Does Delivery

I’ve always thought I’m pretty straightforward, but the way I said things didn’t always land the way I intended. I’d say something like, “You’re always on your phone,” and Leslie would feel criticized. Now, I try to express concerns differently: “I miss talking with you without distractions.” Changing my approach opened the door to real conversations instead of arguments.

At the same time, we’ve had to recognize and adapt to each other’s communication quirks. Leslie sometimes interrupts—not because she’s not listening, but because her ADHD makes it hard to hold back her thoughts. On the other hand, my voice tends to elevate when I get excited, which can come across as anger even when I’m just passionate. Acknowledging these patterns has helped us approach conversations with more understanding and patience.

Bridging the Gap

Here’s what’s worked for us:

• Ask, Don’t Assume: If something feels off, check in.

  
  

• Be Mindful of Tone and Posture: Words are only part of the message.

  
  

• Own Your Part: Take responsibility for how your actions and words come across.

Our second chance wasn’t about fixing what was broken. It was about rebuilding with new tools and understanding. Every day, we choose each other—and that choice starts with clear, honest communication.

Take the Next Step

If miscommunication is holding your relationship back, let’s talk. Leslie and I created Second Chance Coaching to help couples like you rebuild trust, love, and connection. It’s never too late to start again, stronger than before.